哭 On the Verge of Tears
吳冠中 Wu Guanzhong
Years ago ,I went by night train to Mao Ling ,a sacred place in Shaanxi Province,to pay homage to the sculptures standing before Huo Qubing's tomb.
1，題目雖然是《哭》但根據文章內容，題目更確切的意思應為“快要流淚”，或“幾乎流淚”，因此譯為On the Verge of Tears
2，“那年”即“有一年”或“幾年前”，譯為that year會造成讀者困擾，因為that 通常指前面提到過的事物，現譯Years ago
夜車到了終點站，霍去病墓還老遠。在那滿天星斗的西北草原上，我時而順著大車道，時而踏著羊腸小徑往前趕路，及至霍去病墓地，天色才開始曙明。附近沒有行 人,我迫不及待的撲向墓前那幾座龐然巨物的偉大雕刻作品。我十分激動，它們永遠是活著的，并一直是我精神上的支柱。當我在異國遭到歧視的時候，當世界上其 他國家的杰出藝術品令我敬仰的時候，我自餒的時候，痛苦的時候……這幾座氣勢磅礴的永恒的石頭雕刻便總會呈現在我的眼前。
As it was a long way from the terminal station to Huo's tomb,I had to hurry on with my journey on foot under the starry sky of Northwest China,sometimes on along a broad road,sometimes on a narrow footpath.The day was just dawning when I arrived at Huo's tomb.Not a pedestrian in sight.I lost no time in presenting myself before the majestic carved works of great magnitude before the tomb ,I was beside myself with agitation .The immortal art treasures will be my permanent spiritual prop.Whenever I am discriminated against in a foreign country ,whenever I stand in awe before a foreign outstanding work of art ,whenever I am disheartened,whenever I suffer agony … these imperishable stone carvings of amazing grandeur will inevitably appear in my minds eye.
1，“夜車到了終點站，霍去病墓還老遠。”譯為As it was a long way from the terminal station to Huo's tomb，以as串句簡潔流暢，如果用when the night train arrived at its terminal station, Huo’s tomb still a long way off…則不如第一種譯法通順
2，“我…往前趕路”譯為I had to hurry on with my journey，to hurry on with 意為“匆忙做某事”如：He promised to hurry on with the report and send it to us today. (他答應趕緊寫好報告,今天就給我們送來.)
3,“附近沒有行人”譯為Not a pedestrian in sight,其中省略了was，不知道有多少童鞋想譯成there be……
4，“我迫不及待地撲向…”譯為I lost no time in presenting myself before… 其中“迫不及待”還可譯為hurriedly ,“撲向”即“奔向”，還可譯為came up to…
5,“它們永遠是活著的，并一直是我精神上的支柱”譯為The immortal art treasures will be my permanent spiritual prop,其中art treasure 是譯者后加的，屬于增添詞，為的是滿足造句的需要
本段在簡化句子結構和增加流暢性上有很多出彩的表達，比如Not a pedestrian in sight…和借用增譯詞來引導句子，值得我們借鑒。
I loitered for quite a long while among the sculptures, which were an integrated mass when viewed from afar and very intriguing when scrutinized lose by. Traceable among the rough marks of hatchet and chisel were delicate lines zigzagging .Insensate as they were, the carved stones were brimming with life and vigor, Artists from all over the world cannot help feeling awed when they visit this place."Our forefathers did much better than you!" I declared ,maybe affected by Ah Q's philosphy of "spiritual victory". We are indeed very lucky to have our forefathers standing tall and upright in the world history of art. This is certainly a matter for rejoicing.
1，“在粗獷的斧鑿中行走著蜿蜒的線”即“蜿蜒的線條行走于粗獷的斧鑿痕跡中” 譯為Traceable among the rough marks of hatchet and chisel were delicate lines zigzagging .譯者采用倒裝句，更加突出“線條”的主語地位
2，“都不能不”譯為“都禁不住要…”譯為can not help doing
3,“我也許是繼承了阿Q精神勝利的一面吧”即“我也許是受了阿Q‘精神勝利法’的影響”譯為maybe affected by Ah Q's philosphy of "spiritual victory". philosophy作“人生哲學”“觀點”解，外國讀者可能不理解什么是“阿Q精神”此處要稍微解釋一下
In 1989,While revisiting Paris ,I felt all sorts of emotion surging up within me, Back in China, when I paid another visited to Xi'an and the sculptures before Huo's tomb,I was seized with mixed feelings, I just felt like crying with abandon as I stand once more before Huo's tomb, before the Chin Dynasty terra cotta warriors and horses and before the Han Tang Upright stone tablets bearing ancient inscriptions .But I refrained from tears because I was then accompanied by my wife and surrounded by numerous spectators. Why did I feel like having a good cry？Because my motherland is so great and because of my fears about the descendants of the eagles turning out to be sparrows.
1，“我只想嚎啕痛哭”譯為I just felt like crying with abandon，其中with abandon作“放任”“縱情”解，如：People were shouting and cheering with abandon. 意即”人們興高采烈,縱情歡呼.”后面的good cry也是“痛哭一場”的意思
2，“哭老鷹的后代不會變成麻雀吧”意即“因為擔心老鷹的后代會變成麻雀而哭”譯為because of my fears about the descendants of the eagles turning out to be sparrows.其中my fears about 和I am worried that 都是根據意思的增益的詞，為了文章的順暢表達